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Dehumanizing Urban Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

Dehumanizing Urban Myths About Fat Guys and Dating That People Can’t Excuse

A game show where two families compete for a cash prize by trying to find the most popular answers to a variety of questions about a month ago, one of my sisters tagged me in a video she recorded of Family Feud. From the episode she recorded, host and comedian Steve Harvey asks the participants to resolve an extremely loaded statement: “Name reasons a lady might choose be by having a chubby or fat man.”

The contestants’ answers end up supplying a funny round in the minds associated with participants, Steve Harvey, and presumably the viewers.

But my sister didn’t share this movie on her behalf Facebook web web page to garner laughs from her family and friends. It had been quite the opposite: my sibling had been upset in the round’s subject additionally the responses provided. My cousin published:

“This actually bothers me personally! This is the reason people think you need to be skinny/fit become breathtaking, to be wanted, to be liked, and also to deserve anything…this is certainly not OK!”

My sister tagged me personally in this post once you understand my history in fat studies and sex studies (so that as a fat masculine person), once you understand I would personally concur together with her frustrations.

Image description: A screenshot of this Family Feud game board because of the six top responses: “Fatty got money” (3out of 100 people surveyed), “She’s fat/digs food” (23/100), “She’ll look better” (12/100), “She’s in love” (9/100), “He’s warm/cuddly” (6/100), and “He won’t cheat” (4/100). The single thing this specific round of Family Feud does correctly is summarize a lot of the unfortunate fables our society perpetuates about fat individuals — specifically, fat males — and relationships.

Nonetheless, calling away myths that are fatphobic clearly maybe not the game’s aim. Rather it perpetuated body terrorism against fat bodies to score cheap laughs. Let’s undergo each one of the top six many answers that are popular order to better understand how they’re inaccurate and damaging to guys of size.

“Fatty Got Money!”: Fat Men Are Only Valuable For Their Money or Energy

The misconception: the truth that this misconception is considered the most popular regarding the six provided responses — 3of the 100 individuals initially surveyed provided this or perhaps a similarly-worded solution — is troubling by itself. This misconception is one thing we come across throughout US tradition, whether or not it is in films, politics, or culture that is popular.

In cases where a classically appealing individual of any sex is by using a fat guy, the overall presumption is the fact that this fat man should have cash or some kind of energy. Why else would an individual who could presumably get with anybody they desired choose to be with a disgusting fat guy, right?

This type of idea is extremely damaging for a complete large amount of fat males, placing each of their value as people to the cash or power they might or might not have.

More reads that are radical going from Healthism to Radical Self-Love: the person when you look at the picture

The reality: While you can find, needless to say, many people whom just look for relationships for the money or energy, the reality is that quite often, individuals will decide to get by having a fat guy because they really wish to be with him. This misconception is much less frequently placed on thin or “fit” males, unless of program that individual is well known to possess cash or energy. However it’s much easier for individuals to comprehend two thin or usually appealing individuals being together because they’re drawn to one another than each time a thin or person that is traditionally attractive become having a fat guy for any other less trivial reasons.

“She’s Fat/Digs Food”: Fat People Only Like Other Fat Individuals

The myth: with this particular misconception, we come across just just how individuals make an effort to simply simply just take away fat people’s agency. It signifies that fat individuals will simply be in a position to have relationships along with other fat people, whether it’s since they just find other fat individuals attractive or that is all they are able to “get”, when you look at the many brutal of terms.

Slipped into this misconception is just a relevant fatphobic misconception: that most fat individuals love to consume lots of meals, and all sorts of individuals who want to eat foodstuffs are fat.

The reality: place clearly, the presumption that fat individuals will just look for relationships along with other people that are fat false. Humans — fat, skinny, plus in between — may be and frequently are drawn to a wide number of individuals of all size and shapes. To assume that fat individuals will just ever be with fat individuals has reached ab muscles least ignorant, if you don’t entirely fatphobic and sizeist.

So that as for the basic indisputable fact that fatness is inherently correlated with (over)eating — that is another misconception too.

“She’ll Look Better”: Fat Males Are Ugly

The misconception: All men that are fat in accordance with this worldview, are inherently less appealing than any partner they might ever have. Such men’s partners would just make use of them to look more desirable in comparison. This misconception makes the assumption that, as stated above, no body could conceivably maintain a relationship having a fat guy because they’re actually interested in him. Fat folks are merely tools to make their (presumably non-fat) lovers feel more desirable.

The facts: in the same way many people might brazzers sites pursue a fat guy for cash or energy, many people might only pursue fat males to appear more appealing to others. In fact, though, this appears to be less frequent than this response might have us think.

I’ll keep saying the purpose, even in the event We seem like a broken record: lots of people actually find fat males appealing!

“She’s In Love”

This is undoubtedly the only answer that is truly mocking-free in the most notable responses regarding the board. That by itself is illustrative regarding the entrenched fatphobia on display when you look at the other countries in the responses. Additionally is available in at 9/100, and thus away from 100 people surveyed, “She’s in love” ended up being the clear answer provided by just nine individuals.

What exactly are fat males viewing expected to think of their health and their well well worth as humans?

He’s Warm/Cuddly”: Fat Men Are Good For Cuddling Yet Not Intercourse

The misconception: this might be among those stereotypes that are“positive many of us you will need to used to buttress their blatant bigotry. It’s somewhat similar to statements like “all Asians are smart” or “all homosexual men are stylish and confident.”

Fat men are stereotyped to be hot and cuddly, not much else regarding the side that is“positive” of. As proof of this, one of many game show participants offered a remedy that wound up perhaps not being in the board: that a female would date a man that is fat he was great at intercourse. Steve Harvey, in the “comedic” fashion, responded just as if it was the essential crazy solution in the planet, utilizing the other participants as well as the market laughing in contract. By doing this, the show promoted the idea that while fat males can be warm and cuddly, they aren’t to be noticed as intimate beings, let alone “good” at sex.

The reality: the problem with “positive stereotypes” is they anyone that is automatically alienate does not participate in those stereotypes. Worse, they alienate anybody who would like to be observed much more than simply the caricature of themsleves painted by culture.

Truly the only quality that is redeeming tradition enables fat guys — if they aren’t rich or effective, and never also 100% of that time — is the fact that they’re like fluffy teddies. Even though many fat guys are certainly “warm and cuddly,” it is harmful to allow them to see this because their only positive trait.

Further, just exactly just what someone perceives to be that is“good “bad” at intercourse is oftentimes entirely subjective and situated in individual preference. Ridiculing the idea that fat guys might be “good” at intercourse further entrenches systemic fatphobia.

“He Won’t Cheat”: Fat Men Are Too Eager For Like To Be Unfaithful

The misconception: Fat men won’t ever cheat on the lovers, the reasoning goes, simply because they wouldn’t do just about anything to destroy the “only sure thing” they will have within their present relationship. To put it differently, they already know that no body else would like to be together with them.

The reality: To bluntly put it, that is upright incorrect. This dehumanizing survey solution assumes that fatness is inherently correlated with desperation for intimate and attention that is romantic.

As damning as it can be to acknowledge, fat guys are in the same way likely as some other guys to cheat on the lovers. And much more crucially, this misconception posits that fat males are incredibly ugly, no body would give them the opportunity to cheat to their partners, which, once more, can also be drastically wrong to assume.

These five survey answers on Family Feud show the blatant body terrorism fat men are subjected to in our culture as with all myths and stereotypes about a group of people.

Despite just just what these fables could have you think, fat men’s systems are inherently worthy. They’re also desirable and appealing to a lot of other folks. This reality shouldn’t be so difficult to assume, nevertheless the undeniable fact that it absolutely was addressed as a result on a tv program illustrates so just how deeply fatphobia has pervaded culture.

While you’re watching this episode disturbed and angered me personally, it is a reminder that individuals have actually extensive work to do in order to attain any kind of across-the-board quantities of respect for fat individuals. Just then will we have the ability to make these myths and any perceptions that are negative to them obsoleted modes of idea rather than mostly accepted norms.

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